3.11.09

Hatred is strong

Why so much hatred?

I'm amazed with human emotion: to hate, to love and to ignore. I must say, each entitles to his/ her feeling, no doubt.
But I am even more fascinated with human behaviour.
This brings me to the Wh- questions
Who mold it? What shape it? Why is one behave as such?
I know, psychology is not my strength, but experience definitely has taught me a lot.

I was one told by someone, I am a pretty straightforward person, doesn't beat around the bush to express my intention. Well, for some, that might not be favourable; being offended, for others, You nail it! Point noted!

At this instance, similar to feelings, each individual has his own weird/ quirky behaviour. Again, one is entitled to behave as he wants to; which leads to my next point, when does behaviour become acceptable/ not in one's eyes?

In my opinion,
All boils down to the environment and people around you.
If the environment is surrounded with beings that are not comfortable with straightforward people like me, then they end up, being hurt or offended. If they felt as such, I apologised*

*there is no fault at apologising to someone, even for the tiniest mistake, because, who knows, you end up, not having the chance to do so tomorrow and regretting- better now than never

Anyways, again, the environment you are in plays a vital part in perceiving whether your behaviour is acceptable or not.

I know, I am of no position, to question one's behaviour, because I myself, is flawed.
But do watch your behaviour, to think before you act or say because, it reflects of who you are inside.
It is a mirror of your intentions.
Remember, you can't take them back once you've blurted them out, and it is forever scared.

"Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you"

My intentions are genuine, with no grudges. So, do not take it the wrong way.

Grow up, only then you can forgive and forget

May Allah bless us

3.8.09

I hate myself, for being so forgetful

It's the first Monday in August and it would be another half an hour to go, before a meeting with my supervisor.

As I was getting prepared for it- reading journals to refresh this old memory of mine, suddenly it strucked me "Did I or did I not return the laptop? If I did not, which I am pretty sure of, then where could it be?"

So, my typical menggelabah mode was on, as Azmir would put it. He s one of the few people that needs to stand this side of me. Sorry la ye.

Anyways, I had a major presentation last Friday and there were two of us, Ella and I. As I was the last person to present, it was my unspoken duty to send it back to the Accounting Department but because of my uncontainable excitement, right after the presentation, I just walked off the room, relieved, forgetting that poor old computer in that room.

Which brings me to my next point, I am such a forgetful person! I'm going to be 23, not even close to 32 yet I have the memory of a very2 'ancient' person.

I hate this part of me. As I would have recalled, I've lost things easily, say, 3 watches in 3 years! I bet no one can beat that kan? I hate myself, hate, hate, hate myself.

Haish, anyways, been asking, emailing and texting people of the laptop's whereabout. I really really hope, someone from the class, did return it. Please say he/she did.

I guess, I need to start eating more fish and kismis and less on the meat. As well as spirulina? Those supplements that moms force us to eat, especially the time when we had big exams.

Note to self: I hate myself.

Oh btw, 2 months plus till I unofficially graduate. Haa.. Now that, you can't beat, unless you are already employed. *Boo me*

14.6.09

I hate this

I dislike watching Korean/ Japanese series.

I can reasonably say this, "It would be the last thing I'll do during my free time!"
Not only, would you need to give your devoted attention (as obviously, you do not understand the language, hence the subtitles)
But they also, paint 'fairy tales' story lines that are just not true, in reality.
I know, I know, the person who watches it should be the one to be blamed because obviously there are just stories kan? However, we are girls!! with feelings and fantasies- Mr right guy, Mr right guy doing the right thing at the right time saying the right words
To top all of that, I dislike watching Korean/ Japanese series. Not like I have any grudges with the people from these two nations because undoubtedly, there are super hot! *already melted with few ;), or must I embarrassingly admit more :P*

Tasha hates fairy tales as it will not come true - for her at least
Tasha hates spending 7 hours watching them *which I did last night..Ish3x*

Back to reality now. I really like the story though. Oh well.

Holiday is here! WeeHooNot..

10.5.09

Fooled ya'

I've been fooled..
The workload is overwhelming than ever
And my head, is spinning, faster
Gosh,
Oh, I must catch up, *running*
No time wasted! Tick Tock Tick
I can see the finish line!1
Oh wait, no it is not *panting*
Will I ever get there?
Just a little bit more *feels like forever though*
Oh! why are there hurdles??!
Not one, not two but lots of them?!!
How many can I take? *just jumped over one- phewWw, that was close*
Watch out- here comes another one *Jumped as high*
Dabush *landing safely* and continue running
Run tasha run...
Please don't let me stop
don't let me go, don't let me give up
Because I know, I will reach to 'you' with a satisfied feeling
I want to shout out loud, I have made it!
InsyaAllah

Above is an illustration of an unsuccessful and poorly written poem?
Guess I am not a poet after all.
Loser
LOL

26.3.09

Ah crap!~

Wtheck??
Well, it's just that March is finally over
The month of 'hell' is waving goodbye and say Hello to April!~ :)

1 month down, another 9 to go??! till I'm unofficially graduate?

Alright! better get started with my work, till then! take care

21.3.09

Hectic

Life is crazy for me right now.
I am extremely bored, which explains the blogging but I have heaps of journals calling to be read
I just can't wait for the end of March or must I say, Easter break!
i just hope that everything will eventually run smoothly with couples of bumpy rides along the road
I know, hurdles teach you to be a better and wiser person but I guess, I had had enough hurdles for now.
I am just too tired, sleep deprived and becoming such a boring person

On the other hand, despite the hectic schedule and insane workload, I kinda like it, if you know what I mean
The pressure of reading loads of journals (I know more than you do now), the late night studying and filling in applications, the yucky taste of coffee to keep me 'working', the rush of the adrenaline pumping, running for being late to class are the few of many things I would definitely miss

I know I am rambling but I just feel like blurting all of these out
To my students, thank you for your challenging questions and your innocent and not so faces when I end each tutorial questions with- "Does anyone have a question? Everybody is all good with this?"

As gruesome as it can be in marking your papers, I kind of enjoy it, knowing that for each classes I tutor, I am making a difference in their lives. Oh, I do hope for the better of course

For my 400 level friends, as stressful as life may be at this stage, I know deep inside, each of us will excel later on. The widest smile one could possible Imagine from each and everyone of you. We have gone this far, might as well, try our very best, give our utmost effort to succeed. Less than 7 months away to finish our dissertation. Hmm, how fast time flies

Alright, I have to read the journals for the coming week presentation. The hell month is soon 'waving goodbye'. By the way, I am in the midst of the worst stress month I have ever had- juggling between tutoring, journal'ing and summarising, researching and job hunting
You do the math, as all adds up to Tasha on the verge of insanity, NOT

Do not worry as, Azmir loves to say, 'Nah, i am All good aye' (can't quote the date because he just love saying 'em)

Who says Accounting is an easy paper?
Think again!
You're wrong!

From Tasha who is under manageable stress

14.3.09

Take a break, have a Kit Kat?!

LOL!

Gosh I am so bored and it is the weekend!
How fast time flies, I'm about to enter the 3rd week of fourth year.
What happened so far? Plenty which I would not go into details about.
Too boring to tell, actually

Anyways, nothing much is going on in my life except the normal routine of studying, tutoring, more studying and something new to add would be: hunting for jobs.
I must say, applying for some requires the same energy as sitting for a 100 level paper.

Preparing CVs, cover letters, attending presentations, meeting people and even seeking advice from the Career Adviser consume a lot of time. Oh well, I suppose, it is worth the outcome later on?

Alright, My break is up!! It is time for lunch! Toast bread with kaya and butter, here I come!
The hell of the hell week is soon approaching. Argghhhh!!~~

Till then,
Lets be stress free!~.. NOT
I want kit kat!!

1.3.09

Obstacles ahead

Tomorrow, 'hell' is unleashed as classes are starting, which could only equal to tonnes of workload and unbearable stress.
As this spells exaggeration at first instance, it is true, I deserve to act as such as this is my final year here in Dunedin, believe it or not. How time flies, I tell you

I don't know where should I start. Excited for the challenges to come or sadden by obstacles I faced as the new year passed me by

I have so many stuffs to think about. However, hopefully, knowing which to prioritize, making a good decision for each, InsyaAllah

I wish everybody a good year ahead! and hope everything will fall back into pieces (I hope and pray for that)

Till then,
Good luck peeps!!

Take care